Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Invoking My Inner Child

Getting back to child's play
In the beginning of my journey to finding my true spiritual self, I was introduced to the soulful understanding of my inner child. In doing the work to regain my mental and spiritual awareness, a beautiful friend offered me these teachings. I realize that now everyone who has entered a yoga class, meditation gathering or spiritual talk has heard of their inner child. It has become somewhat of a mainstream understanding now. I even throw the phrase around at dinner talk now like it is common place. I found much of myself in the practices of invoking my inner child, honoring my inner child's desires and even so much as spent long days of play with my inner child. It wasn't until I started spending the days (and nights) with my sweet baby boy that I began to really look at and feel my inner child as a true part of me and struggling with the understanding that perhaps I really hadn't fully embodied who that beautiful child within really was.

One of the most challenging parts of being a mom (besides nap time, and I'm talking his not mine, because mine are non existent now, but I digress). The most challenging thing as a mom for me is to actually sit down and play with my son. I will admit, I am not that park mom. Parks are lame and boring to me. I get antsy, run my to do list through my head and to sit there feels like wasted time to me. Lord help me! And fortunately I am not at that phase of mommy hood yet regularly. Although living in the city, we have utilized the park to get some wiggles out before bed time. We also have been finding beautiful play time at the beach. I love the beach and find great joy sharing it with my sweet little one. It balances me so easily. Again, I'm off topic!
Welcome to my brain on kid!
So back to the whole playing with the child thing. In my unconscious state, it is so annoying to me. I love hanging with him and playing with words and chatting about life and hugs and kisses, but my adult self has been incredibly challenged to have to sit down and play with blocks and such. Again, its like the park thing. I can think of a MILLION things I need to get done, but instead I'm stacking blocks while he knocks them over and puts them in his mouth and the likes of me chanting "duck! Quack Quack" ~ "Mama! Mama!"  ~ "what does the doggie say?!" YEP! All the while my adulting brain is tapping my shoulder reminding me of the list of things I didn't get done during diaper changes, bottle feedings, bottle washing, snack time, rocking down to sleep for nap :: REPEAT!

So here I sit after meditation, or should I say contemplation of how can I play more? How can I be more in love with my child self? How can I slow my brain to enjoy these precious moments? How can I just allow my sweet young thing to arise from within and guide me in this life like a playful child?

Lately I have caught myself using the term in business "square peg, round hole"  As in, I am not forcing anything. I refuse to force a square peg through a round hole. And then tonight I watched my Little D do just that! There went that square block to the round hole. It didn't fit but his wonder of all things included was my greatest teacher! He looked at all the edges, lifted it back up, tried again and then put it in his mouth for further exploration. And it gave me an idea. Instead of rejecting the square peg, how about when it arises near the round hole, I take a look at all the edges of it, give it another chance and then explore it from a different perspective? And in that moment, I might enjoy the playing field of the floor just a little more. In that moment of exploration, I might find a little more exploration of that beautiful little girl in me that use to love swinging at the park and playing on the floor.

Will you join me on the floor for some child's play?
I'll bring the holes if you bring the blocks.
See you on the mat!

1 comment:

  1. Interesting thoughts beautifully expressed! Turning and rotating things for a new perspective can be key.