Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Becoming a Mom!

#babyboy #LittleD

On October 28th a beautiful #babyboy came to live with me. I am officially his foster mom and with all going well, I will adopt him! Although I am not allowed to post publicly his name, photos or much about him, I CAN tell you he is divine! He is chill, sweet and has a solid knowing of who he is. I can see it in his deep dark eyes. He already gets this thing called LIFE.

In our short time together he has dropped me to my knees in gratitude, wonder, amazement, desperation and the yearning to know what is right. I tell my mamas in class and in my coaching all the time that "whatever choice you make is the right choice" which is really true. Until I was making those choices. And then every bit of self doubt and guilt arise. I've been here before. It just looks different. I am all too familiar with those dark beings inside me of doubt and guilt. I let them go ages ago. They no longer served me so why hold on to them. I did the Spiritual work. I no longer needed that pacifier. Until I became a mother over night.

I went from 0-mom. All I have known has gone out the window. I am stripped free from all preconceptions, I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask the divine to show me the way. Just as I have before. I have been here before as well. I thought I knew the way. I made my choices and away I went. Well, I am here again. I have made many level changes in my life to arrive back at what I think are old lessons when in fact they are just residuals of old ways of being. A time and journey to move beyond those places that still show you the true self of who you are and where you have been and where to go no. How to move forward comes from the wisdom of our path of times past. Those experiences that molded us to who we are. That is who I am today. Only now as I stand naked in front of the mirror, I hold with me the journey of the unknown. This beautiful being who has graced me with his wisdom and path of knowing. Straight from the divine.

May I be the best pillar one may be to this beautiful boy. And to paraphrase Khalil Gibran: May I not try to make you like me but strive to be like you.
May my bow send you my arrow, swift and far.