Invoking My Inner Child

Getting back to child's play

In the beginning of my journey to finding my true spiritual self, I was introduced to the soulful understanding of my inner child. In doing the work to regain my mental and spiritual awareness, a beautiful friend offered me these teachings. I realize that now everyone who has entered a yoga class, meditation gathering or spiritual talk has heard of their inner child. It has become somewhat of a mainstream understanding now. I even throw the phrase around at dinner talk now like it is common place. I found much of myself in the practices of invoking my inner child, honoring my inner child's desires and even so much as spent long days of play with my inner child. It wasn't until I started spending the days (and nights) with my sweet baby boy that I began to really look at and feel my inner child as a true part of me and struggling with the understanding that perhaps I really hadn't fully embodied who that beautiful child within really was.

One of the most challenging parts of being a mom (besides nap time, and I'm talking his not mine, because mine are non existent now, but I digress). The most challenging thing as a mom for me is to actually sit down and play with my son. I will admit, I am not that park mom. Parks are lame and boring to me. I get antsy, run my to do list through my head and to sit there feels like wasted time to me. Lord help me! And fortunately I am not at that phase of mommy hood yet regularly. Although living in the city, we have utilized the park to get some wiggles out before bed time. We also have been finding beautiful play time at the beach. I love the beach and find great joy sharing it with my sweet little one. It balances me so easily. Again, I'm off topic!
Welcome to my brain on kid!
 

So back to the whole playing with the child thing. In my unconscious state, it is so annoying to me. I love hanging with him and playing with words and chatting about life and hugs and kisses, but my adult self has been incredibly challenged to have to sit down and play with blocks and such. Again, its like the park thing. I can think of a MILLION things I need to get done, but instead I'm stacking blocks while he knocks them over and puts them in his mouth and the likes of me chanting "duck! Quack Quack" ~ "Mama! Mama!"  ~ "what does the doggie say?!" YEP! All the while my adulting brain is tapping my shoulder reminding me of the list of things I didn't get done during diaper changes, bottle feedings, bottle washing, snack time, rocking down to sleep for nap :: REPEAT!

So here I sit after meditation, or should I say contemplation of how can I play more? How can I be more in love with my child self? How can I slow my brain to enjoy these precious moments? How can I just allow my sweet young thing to arise from within and guide me in this life like a playful child?

Lately I have caught myself using the term in business "square peg, round hole"  As in, I am not forcing anything. I refuse to force a square peg through a round hole. And then tonight I watched my Little D do just that! There went that square block to the round hole. It didn't fit but his wonder of all things included was my greatest teacher! He looked at all the edges, lifted it back up, tried again and then put it in his mouth for further exploration. And it gave me an idea. Instead of rejecting the square peg, how about when it arises near the round hole, I take a look at all the edges of it, give it another chance and then explore it from a different perspective? And in that moment, I might enjoy the playing field of the floor just a little more. In that moment of exploration, I might find a little more exploration of that beautiful little girl in me that use to love swinging at the park and playing on the floor.

Will you join me on the floor for some child's play?
I'll bring the holes if you bring the blocks.
See you on the mat!

Fluidity In Big Life Changes

Oh how my life has changed!

So.................It use to be rose petals and essential oils filling my bath as I would soak my beautifully waxed legs and fresh pedicure leisurely by candle light until I was wrinkled. I would head off to bed and sleep a long slumber waking refreshed and alive. Well, OK! I still get a beautiful slumber as my beautiful baby boy sleeps 11 and 12 hours a night. I know! I don't tell too many that for fear of getting jumped in the parking lot by some exhausted new mommy who hasn't slept in weeks. But that part IS true. We definitely know how to sleep in our house. It's just all the other parts. Like I don't really wake refreshed as I  awake to every little movement and noise he makes along with the stress of all the change keeping me from deep REM. So back to the rose petals. Yeah, there aren't many of those evenings anymore. Mostly because who has time to go buy fresh flowers anymore? Let a lone, dry them perfectly and plan that bath timely with their optimal drying time. Honestly, Sometimes I have to really think if I even took a bath in a day. NO JOKE! If you are a mom, I know you know what I'm saying. I always heard it, but never really knew those women were telling the truth. I honestly thought it was a joke.

So being a mom is pretty easy for me. I know if you just joined me in that last paragraph, you're wondering, "well in what capacity?" Now don't get me wrong, I still struggle with if its a tired cry, a wet cry or a hungry cry, but for the most part, I am good at grooves and we have found our groove somewhat. I am also pretty intuitive to babies needs so I get that part with ease. There are times when I really lose the groove though, or actually lose myself, and I can't see the forest through the trees. But for the most part, I am rocking the mom thing.

Now being a mom and running my business is a different story! Hence my January newsletter hitting you on the very last day possible, my sales tax return in the same manner and my year end accounting was up against the grind. I'm keeping it together, sort of. You see, my business use to BE my baby! And as many know, going from one child to two is the hardest transition. I am finding that I most definitely need a lot of spaciousness in my mind to do both. And the sad part is that while finding that previously mentioned groove, my meditation has suffered. I am just now after three months, getting my space in to sit still and not reply on walking meditations and svasnana time in my public classes to slow my mind. And by "just now" I mean, I actually meditated two days in a row. Woo-Hoo!  Perhaps once the mind slows, the self care will begin to naturally fit in with ease. It has taken a bit of time to get some of that in, but I made a commitment to myself that if I was going to find this balance and embrace this change with grace, I MUST be able to take care of my son with grace, not with a busy mind, a cramped upper back, sore muscles  and imbalance chemistry. Commitment to self is not only the first step to balance, but the most important step.  So last week I had cranial sacral with the amazing Debra Bochinski a massage with the nurturing Arica Ursulich and tomorrow I get to go lay on the table with my intuitive integrative healer Dr. Princetta for an all around integration of body, mind and chemistry. I am so blessed to have such amazing healing people who love me and nurture me so I can better show up for my son and clients.
I know my meditation and self care is the key to finding this mompreneur balance. I also know my tribe is another key. So as my tribe, I ask that you send me a little ju-ju in this department of wholistic life the next time you sit down in your seat. Grateful! Thanks!

I wish for you that you are living with the changes in your life and that you are fluid in your acceptance of that change. And when it shows up unexpected, may you stop and appreciate that moment by stilling your mind and caring for yourself. And trust me, I looked in the mirror as I typed that last statement. I more and more need all that I preach to others. It is such a beautiful thing to recognize that the divine has been guiding me here for so long. And I am REALLY getting it this time. I love the divine! I love you!

I look forward to seeing you on the mat soon. We have been having a lot of fun lately. Because in times of drastic change what better to do than have tons of fun!

In love and light. In groove of change. In fluidity.
Namaste
Jolie

*My favorite blend for a night time bath*
I dont measure anything so drop to your own sense of smell. When I can smell it off the water, I stop. I am also very generous with my essential oils as I view them as medicine. I also use them neat in the water. I am not recommending you do this as some may have a sensitivity. I do not.
 I call this Moon Club. You may buy this at The Apothecary at Nature's Whisper
Lavander
Rose Geranium
Sage

DISCLAIMER: do not use sage or rose geranium if pregnant or lactating. And of course don't hold me liable as I am just sharing the love and am not your doctor!

Moving Inward to Find Balance~Jolie's Desire for Change

 #peppermint #chocolate #sugarfree #vegan #tea
Recipe below

Happy Solstice!

At a time in nature that we are meant to be hibernating, our culture has us running around like crazy. It is not natural! The sun sets earlier, the evenings are colder. We are meant to be inside with our bodies resting, enjoying a warm elixir, nourishing our deepest selves.

It is my desire for this change. I admit, I am not a fan of the time change, but as we do enter the darker times, we are meant to embrace it. We are meant to embrace our own darkness, to heal the wounds of the fire that may have burnt out of control in the warmer months. We are meant to nourish our bodies with more fatty foods and our souls with the comfort of security behind closed doors under covers.

I personally have chosen to slow way down this winter. Perhaps if I were honest, I would say my sweet little boy has encouraged me to slow way down. When it gets dark he insists on that time of snuggles inside. When I follow his lead, I find myself less stressed and more willing to embrace that still dark mode within. That place that allows for the healing to plant deep within the soil of my nature and prepare for the coming months. The times of nurture and bountiful preparations for the seeds to sprout from the depth of inner knowing that was allowed to germinate.

I desire this change in our society. I desire to have my tribe be on the same rhythm as me. I desire that business will support this style of living. And as the sun begins to set later and the rise of the warmth in the morning become more present, that I too will unfold in form ready to take on yet another change. A sprouting of a new me, new ideas and new ways of living in my feminine flow. It is this embrace that I hold close to my physical body as I lay on the earth in my deepest, slowest breath and movement in my evening practice. It is from this place that I will nurture my deepest feminine self so that I too pulse in alignment with Mother Earth.

May you find your deep dark place to take refuge this winter.  Should you be looking for a place to be guided, try one of our evening candle light yoga classes. It is by the light of the moon that we shall move inward to embrace our darkness from which to expand back out from in pure form of truest and highest self.


Much love to you during this Holiday Season and Solstice,
Jolie 

Sugar Free Peppermint Chocolate Tea Recipe:
Organic Peppermint tea steeped strong (about 10-15 minutes), add a heaping tea spoon of unsweetened baking chocolate powder (or raw ground cocao), mix well and add warm almond milk to taste.
*you may use sipping chocolate if you desire sweetness.

Becoming a Mom!

#babyboy #LittleD

Namaste!

On October 28th a beautiful #babyboy came to live with me. I am officially his foster mom and with all going well, I will adopt him! Although I am not allowed to post publicly his name, photos or much about him, I CAN tell you he is divine! He is chill, sweet and has a solid knowing of who he is. I can see it in his deep dark eyes. He already gets this thing called LIFE.

In our short time together he has dropped me to my knees in gratitude, wonder, amazement, desperation and the yearning to know what is right. I tell my mamas in class and in my coaching all the time that "whatever choice you make is the right choice" which is really true. Until I was making those choices. And then every bit of self doubt and guilt arise. I've been here before. It just looks different. I am all too familiar with those dark beings inside me of doubt and guilt. I let them go ages ago. They no longer served me so why hold on to them. I did the Spiritual work. I no longer needed that pacifier. Until I became a mother over night.

I went from 0-mom. All I have known has gone out the window. I am stripped free from all preconceptions, I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask the divine to show me the way. Just as I have before. I have been here before as well. I thought I knew the way. I made my choices and away I went. Well, I am here again. I have made many level changes in my life to arrive back at what I think are old lessons when in fact they are just residuals of old ways of being. A time and journey to move beyond those places that still show you the true self of who you are and where you have been and where to go no. How to move forward comes from the wisdom of our path of times past. Those experiences that molded us to who we are. That is who I am today. Only now as I stand naked in front of the mirror, I hold with me the journey of the unknown. This beautiful being who has graced me with his wisdom and path of knowing. Straight from the divine.

May I be the best pillar one may be to this beautiful boy. And to paraphrase Khalil Gibran: May I not try to make you like me but strive to be like you.
May my bow send you my arrow, swift and far.
OM!

Releasing the Poisons

Photo taken Day 14 #nosugar

photo credit: Selfie

location: my new digs
purpose: belly pudge minimized 

Namaste!

Well I made it back this month to write again. Kind of proud of myself and really letting go of beating myself up because I am actually 2 days late on my goal for my newsletter. I have been experiencing quite a bit of the whole beating myself up bit lately. Its amazing how the mind works. And after all these years of me really paying attention to my mind, meditating, positive affirmations, etc,  I find it fascinating that I am not a pure form of perfection. Sheesh! why not?
Poison! That's why! I am currently on day 20 of no sugar in my diet. And in the light of being my true authentic self these days, let me clarify, no processed sugar. I am still eating fruit and have had one taste of honey because, well.......I seriously thought I might die! Good news is, I didn't.  Who knew?
All those people who keep saying it gets easier after 4 or 5 days......WHATEVER! No it doesn't and I am here to tell you it is possible, but there has been nothing easy about this. It has been torture from the moment I wake up until the moment I deprive myself of ice cream and go to bed. YES! you read that right. I am living a life of ice cream deprivation. But here is the best part, I am only deprived in my mind.
When I really check in, I am feeling awesome, my joints are better than ever and my, eh hem.....bowel movements are superb if I may say so myself. TMI? maybe but we all do it and it is the foundation to a healthy body. So if you aren't watching your movements daily, you best start! They are your number one "tell all" to how you are living life on the inside. But I digress.  My issue is the mind. It is so crazy that one simple injection of poison in my body can poison my mind for years. It is all I think about. "I AM NOT HAVING SUGAR....OH MY GOD!" So I actually have to stop every single meal (I eat 5 a day) and wrap my head around the fact that I will consciously consume this beautiful food and after, I will release the temptation to sooth my craving with another conscious positive thought instead of feed the poison in my mind with something actually sweet. And this is another part of the puzzle, on a physical level I know my body is missing something because I crave sugar after every meal. WAIT! don't tell me because I already know. I have been told a gazillion times by my midwife, nutritionists and all the other healers I have worked with in my years of nutritional healing. And, because this is the beauty of my sadhana around sugar. I am going deeper, I am figuring out all that I need to know in the exact right times. I am reminiscent of all the times I have rebelled the talk around sugar. Even ignoring that it may very well be the single most thing that took my mothers life by stomach cancer. That and her negative mind around food, eating and dieting. She was an amazing teacher of these things and I learned well. She knew this and shared a deeper wisdom of beauty upon her departing this earth that has allowed me to be the healthy woman I am today.

So today I sit in my darkness. Don't worry about coming to find me. I know the way out, it is near the light of the divine that was placed in me BY the divine through all the women who have stood before me. They guide me to the divine nature within myself that keeps me connected to the great spirit. The plan is laid out in front of me and allows me to rebel when I need deeper lessons. It also allows me to surface when I need a different perspective or to take refuge. I embody this space I am in and vow to do it not just for my own sugar addiction but for all beings that they may feel safe knowing that just maybe one brave soul has gone before them. It may be releasing the poisons from the mind, of sugar, body image, drug use or abuse on any level. It will be safe because I can say, I will hold you when you surface. I am here. I know the feeling and I will share in your darkness AND in your light. I will hold you sweet one so you too will feel safe and understand the divine light that much more.

So I am here to walk this labyrinth with you. I am walking it now and have walked it many times before. Just like those who are holding me, trusting me and my wisdom, I too trust you and your wisdom.
I honor you. I am grateful for this time together as we release the poisons placed upon us in unconscious moments where we knew no better or chose to turn away to the understanding of the wisdom. I am honored that you hear my words and allow me to share in my darkest lessons as I release my ego in many forms, moving through so many dark parts of my self and finding deeper connections to my true beauty as a woman without ego.

The veil to those who have stood before me is thinning once more.

What poisons are you looking to release from your body?

What poisons are you looking to release from your life?

May you step into the darkness of your poisons, transforming them to the most beautiful self you know. You are supported!

May you be blessed with the container to love yourself first

so you may better care for others.

I invite you to join me on the mat or in the red tent soon!

Much love & Namaste

Jolie Cash, director NWSY

I'd love to connect more often. So many places these days, its tiring isn't it? I do my best to stay present and still stay connected.
Join me if you will.

If you wish to peek into my everyday journey of organic life, food and all around fun, life experiences and spiritual lessons,  

find me on  

Instagram @JolieCash 

I also share about my adoption process here.  

 

 Here is a chant for the new moon this month that I had the honor of being a part of. Please check it out. It is a chant to Laxmi, the goddess of abundance. May you be abundant in all you do!

Follow Laura Rose and her Sacred Song Series on YouTube at Sita Rose:

 

 

Thoughts from the mat......by Stephanie Rosenblatt for Nature's Whisper Yoga

Preparing the mind for stillness

Why I do a morning sadhana

by Stephani Rosenblatt

I always felt a longing for a dedicated spiritual practice, and even though I had practiced yoga for 10 years, I still didn’t understand what it was to meditate or find stillness. It finally became clear for me when I started a daily practice, or a sadhana as it is called in yoga.

It started out with a simple premise, I would do “yoga” everyday for 40 days and witness what happened as a result. Be it in a studio class, at home or in the wild, it all counted and it didn’t matter what the length of time was.

I choose 40 days because it is said in yoga that it is the length of time needed to break a bad habit. 90 days is needed to establish a new habit, 120 days will confirm the new habit and in 1000 days you will master the new habit.

Sure enough 40 days lead to more, and with the encouragement of a beloved teacher I pondered if I could make this a part of my life every day. Fast-forward to new years day 2014, after 6 months of yoga everyday, I committed to the only new years resolution I have ever kept. I resolved to do my practice, or my sadhana everyday for the entire 365 days of the year. It wasn’t an easy year, I went to India and fell so sick, that the most I could do was listen to a 5-minute healing mantra for a couple weeks, but it counted. There were many days I didn’t do my practice until right before bed and had to wake up the next morning and do it all again.

I haven’t quite made it too 1000 days of sadhana yet, but I’ll let you know what fantastical powers I acquire when I do ;) I’m 913 days in, and I can tell you that I know without a single doubt that what prepares the mind for stillness, is sitting in stillness everyday. What prepares the body for stillness is the yoga asana, or postures we practice so that we might drop into those moments where the body and breath are one. When the body and breath are one we find moments where the mind stills and we connect inward to our deepest desire and potential.

I hope you will join me at 6:30am on Tuesday mornings where we get the chance to do our sadhana in community. We prepare the body and breath to unify with asana so that we might sit in stillness before we start the day. Cultivate your inner radiance with pranayama and meditation, and maybe, just maybe, you might consider 1000 days (or more) of sadhana too.

Joy Ride #500wordsaday #fiction

Day 5

#500wordsaday #Fiction

Joy Ride

  "Let's cruise Soldier"

 I flung open the passenger door to my 79 charger. He looked over his shoulder and got in, 

ducking to the right the way the home boys did on a night of cruising

 "Where to?"

"Um, hit the five south".

I looked at him in the passenger side mirror and realized he wasn't the same as I had seen him before. He always had a funny look to him but I never really paid much attention to it. This time it was different though. His soul was absent. He caught me looking, turned and looked right through me as though he could read my half ass'd thoughts.

I was only 18. I had just graduated boot camp. I had a Semper Fi tattoo and a cocky attitude to prove it. I was so excited for the journey ahead of me. I was off to see the world and Camp Pendelton was my first stop. San Diego was so different from El Paso but I could still get a good taco. That's where I met Trigger a few weeks before. He was a nice guy, a little off but always nice. He never really shared much about himself but he asked a lot of questions. Not tonight though, he was very quiet and methodical. 

I kept getting a sense that I ignored. It was deep in my stomach. I almost had my finger on it when Trigger demanded "Get off here!" I took a swift right hand exit at California street and headed west. 

We pulled over at the tracks. 

He showed up in a hoodie smelling of bonfire smoke with a hint of a strange smell to it, almost like oil. He had the same distant look in his eyes. He was nervous. Not as friendly as Trigger but I didn't think much of his ways with me. They spoke in a slang that resulted in a gun pointed at my head by hoodie boy. 

"What the fuck?!"

I don't know what came over me? I didn't seem to care that I was staring down the barrel of a sawed off shotgun. I moved and I moved fast. I was out of the car and around the other side before the tweeker even knew what happened. He might have been in a better position had he kept his eye on me once he threatened me. I learned that in combat training. He was too busy looking over his shoulders. I had him pinned to the ground, now with his own gun digging into the back of his head. Trigger stepped out of the car slowly, reached for his own weapon and smiled.

"We don't want any trouble here soldier" 

The sirens in the distance sent Trigger running. Hoodie boy started to squirm, I let him up and he took off running down the tracks. I wanted to run too but my legs and arms went  limp. I looked down at my Metallica shirt and I was covered in blood from what I thought was because of the struggle. I dropped to my knees to take a breath. I closed my eyes and as if it were only seconds later, I opened my eyes to the bubble gum machines of the local police in front of me and helicopter lights above.

I am not entirely sure what really happened to the family in the house 3 blocks away. They found me dazed, covered in their blood holding the weapon that took their lives. All 3 of them including a little kid. 

I never heard from Trigger again but I heard his name a lot in the first months of my life in prison.